Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Now you're on your own

The day we left the hospital was such a proud moment. Here I am walking with my wife on one side and my daughter on the other (carrying her in a car seat). It was windy, and raining drizzle on and off. Bright sunshine was shining through the gaps in the clouds dazzling me off the wet tarmac in the hospital car park.

It is amazing at moments like that when you're passing through a crowded area and there are lots of different lives at important moments; people visiting sick relatives, no doubt some dealing with the shock of deaths, drunks shamefacedly leaving A&E, expectant parents rushing to the wards. All this is going on and as you walk through you are surrounded by a bubble of impenetrable protective glass. This is our moment. No matter what you are doing, it is not as important as this moment is to me.

It is about a 40 minute drive from the hospital to our home. Closer to an hour when it is your first time driving your precious baby in the car. I'd never noticed the maniac drivers on the road "move over you fools - don't you know I've a newborn baby on board???". In fairness, nobody was doing anything out of the ordinary but all of a sudden everything was a potential threat. Maybe some primeval parenting instinct was kicking in, I don't know.

That drive was when I realised the midwives were gone, the nurses were gone, even our visiting parents were gone. Now the three of us are on our own. I'm the Daddy so it's my job to make sure everything is safe and provide for my family. That is as scary as life gets.

I wouldn't change it for the world though.

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